please stop screaming

i've  been telling myself that not evryone is going to smile at you. Tehy will scream, mad, dissed and cursed you with anything they've got and i have to face it, but still, deep down i'm petrified. It's all because that i would remember how loud and how threatening it was, even when they're not talking anymore, and it's repeat over and over again then i would dreaming, and their voice will stuck in my head until i'm draining. Have you ever been petrified that you can't sleep well, you can't eat well, your heart beating so fast as if you could die from it? because i did, and no one know this ability of mine, or a weak heart tbh. i keep looking for a reason to tolerate people or to forgive myself, such a coward of me i know. i'm so sensitive that i make everything complicated.

if only i could let all of my fear out,      w

will things get better?