Happy 20s!

it's been a week since my 20th birthday, but i still can't get over how blessed i am to have such a life. it's never been easy though. i still struggling with myself a lot, i still have difficulties to communicate with others, i still get overwhelmed with how the world works. However, i keep telling myself i can see the good in it, there must be good in bad and bad in good, which side you see is depend on what you choose to see. I dont know what life will bring tomorrow, but i want to believe that its going to be better. I'm really grateful that i have some people who really care about me. I have never been good with a group of people, with what you called as "squad" . They're mentally draining and i don't feel safe somehow, but with these few people i can be myself. No need to impress or getting impressed, we even enjoy each others silence. Until now, im still thank lord for giving me such a friend, despite of how difficult i am as a person i'm really a lucky one for having friends who secretly giving me gifts, who help me getting out from awkward situation, who would come to my house because they know i'm not feeling well, who promise that both of us should survive until the very end and won't killing ourselves, who won't stop being my friend even though sometimes my words are harsh, who keep telling me i'm loved and showering me with love.
i want to sincerely thank everyone who loves me that your existence really means so much to me. Thanks for coloring my life until now, thanks for trying your best to understand this 20 years old woman who still act and play around like a kid. I used to think about things i want for my birthday, but now im 20 i realize that even your presence is what matters to me. I might be dying right now without your comfort and company.
i'll be a better person and try my best to make everyone happy, i also sorry if i ever troubling or hurting you. i promise i'll keep the heart of child within me and keep spreading laugh and love toward anybody, even the one who hurt me because i know even though i'm hurt im not alone, i have someone i can rely on, i have someone i want to protect and life will get better.

Last but not least, lets be happy, all of us without worry.